Here we are. Another late Spring arrives in the middle of freaking nowhere. Birds are singing, grass is growing, the underemployed ice cream vendor is driving a superannuated truck up your street, playing “Pop goes the weasel” (or 4 bars of it). Life is good.
I don’t know if you’ve ever lived in an abandoned Hammer Mill in upstate New York over the course of the coldest winter anybody can remember. I mean, damn! We were frozen solid, stuck in the ice for five whole months. The bill collectors had to come after us with ice picks. Visitors from Neptune had to go home half way through their stay – THAT’S how cold it was. (How cold was it? Well … )
So hey … when a little warm weather comes this way, it’s a big deal. Everyone is starting to get into their temperate habits. The mansized tuber has been arranging flower pots. Before you ask, no … he does not have a green thumb. They are both “suburban titanium”. He just plays with clay pots – stacks ’em, shuffles ’em, smashes ’em sometimes. Then there’s Marvin (my personal assistant) and his croquet set. You wouldn’t think he had the agility, but then he exclusively plays against people from the 1910s.
I saw anti-Lincoln crawling out of the local public house. At least he’s got a hobby. Fact of the matter is, I admire anti-Lincoln for having the ambition to get off of his doppelganger ass and venture out into the night. I and my fellow core Big Green members (or member) haven’t been near a nightclub in, well, years, particularly when you’re talking about terrestrial venues. No, it’s not because we are impossible to work with, or that we draw the wrong kind of crowd. That’s all true, of course, but the main reason we don’t show up in the local clubs is … well .. lack of ambition, motivation, you name it.
So, dang me. We all observe the arrival of summer in our own ways, some lamer than others.
Podcast Plug. Hey, want to hear Matt and me talk about Al Jolson? Or perhaps our most ludicrous episode of Ned Trek (our Star Trek parody) yet? Give our latest installment of THIS IS BIG GREEN, our podcast. Then tell me about it @BigGreenJoe.
