Do you really want to go? I don’t know. It’s a pretty inhospitable place. Very hot and dry, I’m told, and almost absolutely nothing grows there … not even mold. Though that’s a good thing, sort of, right? Still … I’m less interested in Mars after having played there a few times. Not our crowd, really.
Oh, hi. Just having a momentous discussion with our mad science adviser, Mitch Macaphee, about what to do this weekend. What’s that you say? A trip to Mars is too ambitious for the sabbath? Not sure I agree. In any case, we weren’t talking about going to the planet Mars; we were debating over whether or not we should go see “The Martian”. I was complaining about the condition of our local movie theater. Arid as sandpaper in there, and the seats are twice as rough. Then there’s the foul aroma of popcorn – uuuhhl …
As you know, we’re not particularly big on movies or other forms of entertainment, frankly. Mitch likes to go to science fiction movies so that he can fact-check them, particularly the ones featuring diabolical mad scientists with ambitions to (dare I say it?) rule … the world. He gets a kick out of poking holes in the flimsiest premises imaginable. The other day, he was tearing “Planet of the Dinosaurs” apart. Before that, it was “The Creeping Terror.” Talk about straw men. And don’t get Mitch started on Lost In Space or Journey to the Bottom of the Sea. He’s up one side of Irwin Allen and down the other.
I guess there’s a renewed interest in the red planet since NASA recently determined that there’s evidence of flowing water on the surface – mostly ice melt in the mountains. Hell, we could have told them that. I can’t remember which interstellar tour it was, but one time we played a ski chalet on Mount Olympus. The dry ice was up to our ankles, but there was some water ice as well – mostly in our cocktails, though. Pretty cushy arrangement, but again … not our audience. And dry, very dry.
We should do another interstellar tour this winter. Got to get Mitch and his invention Marvin (my personal robot assistant) out of the mill a little more. They’re getting like shut-ins, and that can only lead to sorrow.