Lyrics – Cowboy Scat

Fed Up

Big GreenI’m tired of big government gettin’ in my way
Tying up my cowboy hands and fencin’ off the range
So angry that my tongue is swollen,
can’t spit out a word
But I’ve got my finger on the trigger even with my vision blurred

I’m fed up, I’m fed up
Keep your stinking paws off me you mangy no good pup
I’m fed up, I’m fed up
Stay in the road where I can see you and I can hit you with my truck

Well there are at least 3 agencies that DC can do without
There’s the Department of Education and the one with Labor in its name
There’s the one that regulates such and such and the one that coddles the lame
I’d axe them all if I had a chance and if I could keep them in my brain

I’m fed up, I’m fed up
There’s more to being a leader than to think and talk and cluck
I’m fed up, I’m fed up
Someday a work in granite will depict my handsome mug

In Texas I’m the first to claim I t’aint never lost a race
Since I sent Hightower to the showers, I always took first place
When it comes to national scurvy polls, I don’t care one way or other
But if they slight me in my Texas Home, it’s like poking Grendel’s Mother

I’m fed up, I’m fed up
Have you heard I wrote a book about it, yeh hey that’s what they say
I’m fed up, I’m fed up
The title is real clever, check out the double entendre

Cracker in Paradise

Someone has been listening to my dreams
I fell asleep in the saddle and it all came to be
I am the President of these
United States under me

I was a wishing till my wish bone was sore – just
Glad I’m not Hitler at the end of the war
But I’m the President for sure
Of the United States, thank you Lord

This cracker’s in paradise
Glad I didn’t  listen to your advice
If I had, I wouldn’t be somewhere so nice
This cracker’s in paradise
I’m the President and you’re my Vice
Jesus came a voting
And I have reaped divine right

This time the White House is gonna stay white for good
We’re gonna hogtie the Kenyan and his Muslim hoods
We’re gonna run off the Mormon, that’s for sure
But not before we overload his circuit board

This time Sharia Law will be drafted by Christians
All the science texts will be labeled as fiction
Let the water be fowled, have open season on Eagles
Ease every corporate goon through the eye of a needle

This Cracker’s in paradise
I see your pie, I’ll have every slice
It all stands to reason
I was elected by Christ

This time the wealthy will inherit the Earth
Their corporations rule the nations, It’s their right by birth
You better look in the mirror and ask what you’re worth
Not a tenth of a rich Texan who attends the right church

Saving Myself for America

I’m saving myself for America
My only love so true
I won’t secede, I’m over that
It’s the last thing that I’d do
Just like my dear friend Newton G.
And his beloved Moon
I need you darling, Believe in me
You’re the reason that I croon

By God, I’m delicious, I’m so nutritious
I’m conservative to the bone
I’m good with guns and Jesus Lord
You can trust me with those drones
My baloney has a first name,
It’s Rick and I’m all alone
Where are you darling? Don’t forget
I’m waiting on the phone
I need you, darling – believe in me
Toward you I am prone

Hurry, would you andale
this hombre‘s going to break down
I’ve been put on, shit on, dragged around
And treated like a clown

I tried my best to engage my brain,
But the fool thing wouldn’t start
I pulled a decent Reagan face
And tried to live the part
I had the hair, I had the stance
But then I had to up a fart,
Forgive me darling, America,
If I’m not that freakin’ smart
Forgive me darling, America
I’m a zero on the chart

Hurry, would you andale
this hombre‘s going to break down
I’ve been put on, shit on, dragged around
And treated like a clown

North Camp Pasture

There’s a rock on the road that tells you where you’re going
the inscription all white-washed and faded
But it’s a yellow rose by any other name
and the ground is right for shootin’

T’is the season for fun, so Danny, get your gun
draw a bead on anything moving
Never waste a round and always stand your ground
on the ground we call North Camp Pasture

Through the night we will ride and when we arrive
you can hear all our ancestors crowing
They were sent to hell with a rebel yell
on the ground we call North Camp Pasture

Oh, they’re calling
They’re calling to us again
from a world we left behind
It won’t feel the same if you change the name
Leave it alone, they plead
Leave it alone!

They remember the day they took the chains away
and the servants stopped calling them master
But they still preferred to use that special word
for the ground we call North Camp Pasture

It won’t feel the same if you change the name
Leave it alone, they plead
Leave it alone!

But if we carry our dead back to Niggerhead
all the eyes of the world will be watching
A simple coat of paint can make me look a saint
From now on, we’ll call it North Camp Pasture

They’re offended still, call it what you will
but still we will call it North Camp Pasture

Sing, Rick Perry, Sing!

The smallest town in the biggest state
Father Joseph what will be my fate
Will I be a commissioner just like you
Will I be a Dixiecrat, just like you were

I tied some knots, I did some deeds
I earned every merit badge
Oh, father please
Take this Webelos along to Abilene
And it’s so lonely on this ranch, this cowboy is dreaming

Sing Rick Perry sing
Dance Rick Perry dance
All the world is waiting
To see what you do in your cowboy pants

At AMU, I was the frat house fool
I blew me up a toilet, the cowboy scat
It flew
–learned so much about farm animals, who knew
You can even rape a cow with a special tool?

A long time later, I was a legislator
I changed party affiliation
But I’m no damn traitor
T’was just the GOP it had a better horse
And Gore was a Bozo ozone man of course

Ride Rick Perry Ride, Make Like Paul Revere
All the town’s folk are straining
What do you think they’re going to hear
Will you be brave and will you stand with the lord, Petro Jesus
Will you cast his holy spear

Now as Governor, I prayed for rain
I started talking just like Galileo
We’re one in the same
Except-in my version doesn’t irk my petro church
There’s no such thing as global warming, that’s plain perverse

Pray Rick Perry Pray
The skies will give relief
All precipitation is black and also green
And it’s just like Texas Tea
It takes such courage just to sand with the lord, Petro Jesus
And hold his mighty sword

Awesome Hair

What did you do to get such awesome hair?
Who did you kill, must’ve been a millionaire
Now what you’ve got, you’ve got the savoir-faire
If anyone tries to take it you can give them the chair

Rick, I’m your cousin. Please give me a clue
How do you treat such a fantastic Do?
Do you keep a hairdresser or retain a whole crew?
Whatever it is you tell, I’ll keep it secret for you

You take Witch Hazel from a ladle, mayonnaise from a jar
Crude Oil from a luck well, that’s just who you are
Mix it all together till it spreads just like tar
Apply it to your head along with a half pound of lard

Yippi-ki-aye Yippi-ki-oh
If you sell that jell you’d rope in the mother load
Yoddel-lay-he Yoddel-lay-he Yoddel-lay-he-ho
You might even spare some for this horny toad

It once adorned Reagan, now on your head it sits
And not on that want-to-be, latter day Mitt
When you’re nonsensically talking, it especially fits
If anyone tries to muss it up, you’ll mess with their shit

Its sheen is unrivalled, even in its natural state
Only your copper melon, can handle its weight
Next to you other governors look like fish bait
Ol’ Atlas wouldn’t’ve shrugged if he had this on his pate

Take some barbequed giblets shot fresh from your gun
The charred remains of an urbanite you dragged home for fun
Some sarsaparilla, one armadillo left dead in the sun
This formula was focus group tested by Mr Frank Luntz

Yipi-ki-aye Yipi-ki-oh
Governor Scott’s got a glowing dome
Yodel-lay-he Yodel-lay-he Yodel-lay-he hay
Ol’ Governor McDonnell’s got some slop in his mop
Governor Kasich has got something dead on his head
I’d much rather look at you instead

Evening Crab Nebula

If you’re gonna hit that Mormon Mitt
Better make sure to brain that philanderin’ Caine
If you’re gonna’ brain that philanderin’ Caine
Be sure to neut that speaker Newt
Just cast the slime and soon you will prevail

If you’re clueless and from Texas
That’s the way they elect us
And all your efforts will be sure to pay

If you’re gonna’ clear some Dubya Brush
Better make sure to cut that Dicky Chain
If you’re gonna’ clear some Dubya Brush
Better make sure to cut that Dicky Chain
Or what’s the point? You may as well just fail.

If you’ve got your mind set on impeachment
Don’t forget that other gent
Or all your efforts will be just a waste

If you’re gonna’ follow that evening star
Better be sure how wise you are
If you’re gonna’ follow that evening star
Better not follow it all too far
Or you’ll be choked and froze in the vacuum of space

Can’t treat the Crab Nebula
Like it’s there to direct ya’
By pointing out some pertinent biblical place

Falling Behind

I’m falling behind, I’m falling behind
T’aint never lost before, always won when I tries
I tell them just what they want to hear
just as sure as God made corn subsidies
No abortions, no exceptions
We’ll nail scripture to the trees

Oh, I love Jesus more than any man ever dared
to love another man
I remember what he said in the Sermon on the Mount
Well, some of it

I’m falling behind, and I’m running out of time
After all the early primary states
I’m running fresh out of slime
I’ll tell them just what they want to hear
I’ll look like Reagan getting off of a steer
I’ll remember that amendment thing
and stop acting squirrelly and weird

Oh, I love syrup more than any man ever dared
to love a breakfast food
And I hate taxes more than any candidate who ever
ran in the Granite State

Falling behind, I’m falling behind
T’aint never lost before
I’m falling behind

Limping Back to Texas

I went back to my ranch to reassess my campaign – Oh Lord
I went back to my ranch to think and to pray – to the lord
Lord, what could you have to say
To your faithful servant with a foot in the political grave

Rick, you’re a leader, I gave you that
No Lord, I’m a failure and I’m limping back to my home
Rick, there’s still varmints for you to dispatch
Oh Lord, I am weary but I still can do that for you – always for you

Now I’m heading to Carolina where there grows a congregation
Of a pious avaricious people, folks I can be sure to rely on
Oh Jesus, what could you have to say
To your faithful servant, Lord should I stay in the race

Rick, you’ve got yourself a field to plough
Yes Lord, I hear a banjo and I see a sow
Rick, you go and lasso those doggies
Lord, I’m at home with rural honkies – dragging the undesirables behind trucks

Lord I’m a sinner
No Rick you aint
I showed lust, I brought Mrs. Butterworth up to my lips
I’m a sinner
Rick, that’s a shame
I envied a Mormon robot and coveted fame

I’m heading back to Texas and the home of the petrochemical industry
And the Alamo, it’s true, It’s the place where I can belong to
Lord, what do you have to say
To a prodigal son that’s coming back to stay

Rick, you’re a Christian and you’re not ashamed
I’m working for guns and I’m not afraid
Rick, you know my mind on homosexuals
Lord, I’ve held the line on science and intellectuals
Except for them industry geologists
They do the lords work and put fracking on the good list
Rick, you’re a Reagan, I gave you that
No, Lord, I’m a Fillmore and I’m a fucking piece of shit
Rick you know you’ve been alone a-fore…

Devil’s Romney

Well I lost to the Devil’s Romney
I was beat by the demon spawn
Lord how could you let this happen?
Lord, your world is spinnin’ wrong
Now I can’t get it out of my head
My prayers were answered with nothin’
Lord heard nothin’ that I said

I’m endorsing old Newt Gingrich
Disrespect you with a Popish twist
Just to spite you, Mr. Jesus
Anything to sink that Mormon ship
You should know, I’m not to be trifled with
If he fools me once again, for him his rule will end
And there’ll be no resurrection this time

Oh damn me, what a waste my life was
Damn me all those days in the pew
What did it get me being a Christian?
For what it brought me, I could’ve been a Jew
I still can’t shake it from my mind
I ought to sue you, Lord
Bein’ a no-good dirty cheat
You were a saviour, but you were false
Left me high and dry in Texas
Now I’ve barely got a pulse

Got to get me a new religion
Got to find me a new kind of faith
I declare it, Texas is open
To Buddhist temples and maybe to the Hindu race
And guess who’s persona non grata?
None other than Jesus, my old true friend
He was my lord, but he betrayed me in the end
I ought to sue you, Lord
Bein’ a no-good dirty cheat
You were a saviour, but you were false
Left me high and dry in Texas
And me I’m more like Reagan before Reagan he fell dead
I’m a Rick and Rick is more of a hero’s name than Ron
Remember Rick was a ranger and Ronald was a clown
Oh my Lord, you turned a traitor and my world is upside-down
Oh but I still have my syrup, syrup is my crown 
And I’ll wear it on my head until my head is gone,
It is gone

Endorsing Newt Gingrich

I’m endorsing Newt Gingrich, Y’all vote for his ass
He’s bloated with charisma or some kind of gas
He is 3 parts Nixon, and another 2 parts Taft
I’m endorsing him for President, endorsing him I am

Now I’m back home in Texas, this is all I have,
The Governor with the empty hat, let them have their laughs
But in 2 short years, or is it 4 and a half
I’ll be back running for President and practicing my math

Newt, Newt, Newt
He’s so dear to my heart
I regret my campaign ads that tore him apart
Newt, Newt, Newt
Please forgive me if you can
I’m endorsing you for President
Endorsing you, I am

Some call him Professor, some call him Speaker man
Some call him the vilest thing, floating in a can
He’s most likely just an “also ran”
This means I’ll be back in no time
That’s the genius of my plan

Now I’m back here in Texas, signing legislative trash
There’s not much left around here corporations don’t yet have
Still I’m keeping entertained, sent another one to hang
For a joke I dubbed him “astronaut” and drowned him in some Tang

Newt, Newt, Newt
He’s a Manatee in a suit
But when he’s brawling with his wit, he’s a pig in the shit
Newt, Newt, Newt
We’re together at long last
I’m endorsing you for President
Endorsing you, I am

I’m endorsing Newt Gingrich, Y’all vote for his ass
He’s a subtle as a pitch fork coming in to stab
He as caring as a viper, that’s muscle it’s not flab
He’ll be faithful to America, ask all the wives he’s had

Newt, Newt, Newt
He’s so dear to my heart
I regret my campaign ads that tore him apart
Newt, Newt, Newt
Please forgive me if you can
I’m endorsing you for President
Endorsing you, I am

Come Back Mean

Deep in the heart of you
I can do what I want to

I come back mean, Right back to Texas
Oh, What did you Tinkers expect, They up and rejected us
I’ll kick me a dog, Go scour the neighborhood
I want the best kicking dog you can find, Go get me Planned Parenthood

Oh, How I love to be back in the Lone Star State
Where this loathsome cowboy can practice his hate
They will legislate, I will consummate
Now it’s the law of the land

I come back ugly, with a chip on my shoulder
I’m gonna require that ultrasound test, ‘cause this chip is a boulder
I’ll force you to eat it, Put it up were there ain’t no sun
A zygote is precious, but a born kid may not be a blessed one

Oh, It’s so good to be back in the Lone Star State
Where I am the number one potentate
Where the government’s small, I can drown it in a tub
I can whittle your dignity down to the nub

Deep in the heart of you
I can do what I want to

I come back armed, I’m ready, I’m gonna sting
Watch me shoot voter fraud in the gut, even if there aint no such thing
If they look kinda foreign, if they look kinda slovenly
Heap this 21st Century poll tax on top of their misery

Oh, How I love to be back in the Lone Star State
Where this loathsome cowboy can practice his hate
They will legislate, I will consummate
Now it’s the law of the land

Deep in the heart of you
I can do what I want to

Santorum From Behind

Look out, Romney, there’s a freak coming up behind you
You flattened Gingrich, but you left this one alive
You should have brung him to his knees
before he got that check from Mr. Friess
Santorum – He’s surging from behind

Yeah, he’s the plastic daddy from Davy and Goliath
It’s a sweater, it’s a vest – Hey, pick a side!
You want your birth control? Well, woman, please
just hold this pill between your knees
Santorum – your little Taliban

Pray the god of Maroni, beg your uncle Jeebus
to smite that demon Rick
Call in that favor from the Holy Ghost
Where’s that dude when you need him the most?

Hey, hey, Romney, better brush up your credentials
Better speak of contraception as infanticide
They’ll never vote for a Mormon anyway
unless they’re sure he hates the gays
Hey, Willard – no matter what you do
Santorum, he’s got it all over you
Santorum, he’s got it all over you

Santiny

Nobody, yes, nobody cares what I have to say anymore
And I long for the day when they all called out my name
Oh, they used to call me
Fox News put my rallies on a loop
Now I’m no one – just ask Governor Stupid

What d’you think about Rick Santorum?
Do you abhor him?
He’s strange, deranged
He’s so bizarre
He keeps a fetus in a jar
Just pray Santiny will be a-cured
Just don’t mistake him for preserves
Oh, yeah.

He says what we all say, but he believes it in his heart
He’d be no fun in Vegas, no whoring, drinking or cards
Oh, he comes from plain folk
The nuns used to whack him in the head
when his thoughts strayed from scriptures
that were holy wrote

Surging from behind is our Santorum
Can’t ignore him
He’s so pious, wouldn’t lie to us
Or make a fuss
He’d bar “blah people” from government bus
Absent the fruit of contraception
will someday be the key to his election
Do mark my words

Nobody, yes, nobody cares what I have to say anymore
I am Rick, but not the Rick with the unsearchable name 

Aw Shoot

Rick tried to lead the way
Bring our people to the end of days
But nothing happened; he got the crap end of luck, again

Rick, you’d be a latter day Moses
Except your wagon is hitched up to the dumb ass
Rick, I watched you come in with guns blazing
Then I saw you dry up like a raisin

Aw Shoot, Aw Shoot

Rick tried to be the Man
God anointed as part of his plan
But someone was a liar; nothing caught fire but the land –over yonder

Rick you exploded like the Hindenburg,
It left your face just floating like a yella turd
Now off to breakfast with that man you said was fake
Pour your syrup up on that Mormon man-cake

Aw Shoot, Aw Shoot

Rick still has a place on this ranch,
Turning each prisoner into a carcass,
And cutting taxes for vulture capitalist friends –oh yeah

Rick you’ve got a wide range of emotions,
I’ve seen them all, and I’ve seen your Christian devotion
What will it take to get you healthy and well
Y’all come on up to my porch where y’all can set a spell

Aw Shoot, Aw Shoot

Rick come and give us a smile, LBJ’s programs are on the Pyre
Ladybirds’ highways have been defiled for you –it’s the least we could do
Rick come and show us a stunt, You’re a rodeo clown in a toxic funk
Invite your billionaire friend to store some radioactive junk on me – Please please please

Aw Shoot, Aw Shoot

Am I Really Rick Perry?

I’ve arrived at contentment,
I know who I am, I know who you want me to be but,
I must follow my star and be content to be in my shoes,
And watch this election from afar

I’m a free man,
I’m free to be the best Rick that you can handle,
But I have to get there on my own,
Don’t keep your candle on the porch of the White House, for now,
Just let me slide on away on my trombone

It never came easy, reading and writing,
Digesting facts and regurgitating on command,
So many cheeses, any man would get confused,

In the Texas roses,
I need not cover my offensive halitosis,
There no one to think that it smells gross,
No one’s up close to me, so I‘ll watch this election from a far

They tried to trick me,
But those days have passed,
And now no one’s left here to dick with me,
I’ll drink my julep with the bright Texas Sun on my behind,
And watch the oil trucks go by,
For now you’ll hear me on my synthesized trombone

Rest in peace will you, Andy Breitbart,
You fallen warrior, You played a big part in the cause that’s so holy,
You bagged the Weiner and won the day,

Folks hold out pictures,
And they wave them in my face,
And oh, they think it’s Lincoln,
But I’m not conscious of his place in the great history of these United States,
No son of the south includes him in their hall of presidents,
There’s no Abe and there’s no Rick in the present tense

Poor Dick

Say there’s no devil, Rick,
But I can’t believe it,
Not when my friend is sick,
At least he’s breathing,
Oh, Poor Dick

There’s still some evil to do,
–world’s full of candy
Dick needs a pump that’s true,
Now his chest is empty,
Oh, That Dick
Can’t just get it from any dude

Last night he dreamt his organ donor was a man of progressive leanings,
That nightmare continued when socialist sinews pumped away all Halliburton’s gleanings

Next to him I’m little league
Playing catch in Texas
He can start 14 wars, before his breakfast,
Oh, What a Dick

Go check the blogosphere
for a bona-fide Mr. Sleaze,
Our Dick is going down
This is an emergency
Oh, Poor Dick,
Must stick something in his rib cage now

We found an ideal kind of donor; he’s kept his organs stewed in bile,
The trouble is his condition is living, ‘cause his heart is just the right style

We’ll mount a secret raid
In California
–get that package on a plane,
Before they mourn ya,
Oh, Poor Dick

We’ll get him in a hold
And then inject him
They can’t know his heart was stolen
–never was detected,
Oh, just like Dick’s
It’ll be fine in its gruesome home

I just gots to know how many right wing blowhards are kept alive,
To furnish our Dick’s organ supply,
First he takes ‘ol Breitbart’s heart, what’s next?
Will he plunder Rush’s alveoli?

Flying Up Ricky

Don’t you know some things are just not fair

Houston we have a problem
The Governor is I don’t know where
I was looking right at him
And suddenly he was not there

Oh, all our hopes have been raptured
The Governor was captured
By the man upstairs
In Texas, his work was just half done
But the Lord he needs a Top Gun
With magnifico hair

And it is we who are left so all alone
This is not fair

He was minding his own business
And that of our big State of course
He was thinking lofty thoughts and ideas
When he lifted right off of his horse

Oh, look at flying up Ricky
It almost makes me sick –he
– had so much good left to do
In Texas, we always think of him with great pride
Now he is sitting at the Lord’s side
We look forward to a better ride

But still we feel so all alone
This is not fair
Oh, we’ve been so badly boned
It is all that we know
Send that cowboy back home

First we were blessed with W Bush
Then in the saddle sat Ricks great tusch
Ruling Texas for a decade and two
In an electoral sense he was never to lose

Oh, all the people are so sad now
Almost as if they ate some bad chow
Rick whooshed into the highest cloud
In Texas, he leaves behind all this freedom
A living legacy of liberty
We can remain happy in our poverty

But still we feel so all alone
This is not fair
Oh, we’ve been so badly boned
It is all that we know
Send that cowboy back home

Lone Star

I dreamed a dream that came into my mind
when Jesus told me, “Rick, this is your time
to seek the highest office in the land
and rule America according to My plan” 

But now the Lord of Hosts has called me home
He seemed quite agitated on the phone
He said, “Rick Perry, I have changed my mind
It’s clear that Washintgon’s a whore
Texas needs you more
By the power vested in me I pronounce you governor of…”

Lone Star!
I pledge my troth to you
Lone Star!
Forever close to you
God no longer wants me to rule you from afar
Oh, Lone Star,
You’ll never walk alone, star

For years, our Savior’s plan had remained hidden
until I found myself in heaven with ‘im.
While He and Reagan watched the evening news
I took a peek inside his playbook for some clues

So now I’m privatizing education
and seek the lowest wages in the nation
Give petty thieves and jaywalkers the chair
You may say, “Just to save your soul
You’ve made Texas such a hole!”
You may want another one but I remain the governor of

Lone Star!
It is our destiny
Lone Star!
That you are stuck with me
You can’t vote against me without the right I.D.
Oh, Lone Star,
You’ll never vote alone, star
Lone Star,
You’ll always get the bone, star
so long as you’ve got me!

What’ll You Do Now, Rick?

What’ll you do now, Rick
What will you do now
You can’t keep to the plan, Rick
With that catastrophic hand
Best throw your cards to the wind
Best to be without that sin
Ride up front with the one true Christ
Drive straight with him away from vice

Who cares what they say, Rick
Who cares what they may say
Who cares what they call you, Rick
And if they say you’ve a deficient brain
Can any of them fly a plane?
So complex and it rides on the air
Can any of them build a fence?
Or grow cotton up through cement?

Oh, you can be a televangelist, a televangelist would be sweet
I could see you as a lobbyist for Exxon or BP

You will be there Rick
You will be there
Wherever there’s a law beating up a gun
You’ll come on like a burning sun
Wherever there’s a regulation
Threatening the polluted air
Wherever there’s a corporation
Kept away from its full share

Oh, you’ll be there, wherever atheist teachers plant devils in children
Oh, you’ll be there, where minority voters are diluting the ballot
Oh, you’ll be there, when mobs of reformers are threatening death row
Oh, you’ll be there, whenever rabid pro choicers want control of their persons
Oh, you’ll be there, wherever Adam and Stephen are threatening marriage,
Oh, you’ll be there, whenever workers are viciously blowing on whistles

It Should’ve Been Me

It should have been me
Standing up there getting the cheers
It should’ve been me
Winning the lease on 4 years
It should’ve been me
In the debates, serving the quips – hyya!
It should’ve been me
Rocking the clown, scoring the hits

Well I can’t accept, No I can’t accept
I can’t accept my loss, No I
I will come back
I’m on the track
I feel it with my toes and I’m happy to

Rick, write us a song
Boy Howdy
Rick, You’ll get along
Little Doggie
Rick, You’re never alone in Texas,
When you can play with your dong
Boy Howdy
Rick, where to begin
With the Bible
Rick, your heart has no sin
I know, I
In your truck on the road to heaven
Could you stop and pick up Exxon?

It should’ve been me
Smirkin a smirk, smiling a smile (It should have been you)
It should’ve been me
they wanted to seek
They wanted to Hail (Seek Hail, Seig Heil)
It should’ve been me
Peddling snake oil to the folks (selling oil to the folks)
It should’ve been me
Making the sale, getting the votes (Turning sales into votes)

Well I can’t accept, No I can’t accept
I can’t accept my loss, No I
I will come back
I’m on the track
I feel it with my toes and I’m happy to

Rick, write us a song
Boy Howdy
Rick, You’ll get along
Little Doggie
Rick, You’re never alone in Texas,
When you can play with your dong
Boy Howdy
Rick, where to begin
With the Bible
Rick, your heart has no sin
I know, I
In your truck on the road to heaven
Could you stop and pick up Exxon?
We’re mobile