Usual Rubbish

Inside February (again)

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Jesus, Marvin. When I told you to release the podcast, I didn’t mean put it on the end of a stick and hold it over your head. I meant “release it” in a more modern, technical sense. Are you sure you’re a robot? Oh, okay. That’s news to you. Whoops.

Well, it appears that Marvin (my personal robot assistant) has learned where his last name came from. Red letter day for him, at least. Me? I have to walk you through a podcast you probably haven’t heard because my mechanical friend thinks the act of dropping an episode is something akin to playing lacrosse. No matter – push on!

Here’s what we have in this month’s THIS IS BIG GREEN podcast:

Ned Trek 36: Grope in the Fold – This installment of our now long-running Ned Trek series (a parody mashup of classic Star Trek, Mr. Ed, and that thing they call the Republican party) commandeers a second-season (1967) script entitled “Wolf in the Fold”. Action includes some first-rate screaming, a gripping courtroom scene, and numerous instances of Mr. Ned telling Perle to shut up. Simply can’t be missed.

Marvin blew it, man.Put The Phone Down – Matt and I sit down for our usual rangy discussion of whatever floats into either of our tiny brains. This month’s random topics include a recap of the Ned Trek episode you just heard; a brief riff on a local meat market and its longstanding sausage-based slogan; Matt’s recollection of a backstage fight between actors playing Buffalo Bill and Jesus Christ in a locally-produced musical back in 1978 or so; Our thoughts on the unusual, perhaps singular, playing style of our late friend and one-time guitarist Tim Walsh; Some news of beavers and sweet potatoes …. and so on.

Song: Two Lines – A Ned Trek / Sulu song from a couple of years ago; one of my personal favorites. Sulu sings of the anguish of only having two lines in any given episode. Chorus features common two-line speeches from Sulu’s role in classic Star Trek.

Song: Silent as a Stone – Deep archive pick. This song long predates our Big Green moniker, but it’s still us. Recorded in the long departed Music Workshop studio in Utica, NY (producer: Bill Scranton) back in 1981, this very weird little number features some of that insane Tim Walsh guitar work Matt and talked about. Head scratcher, but that’s how we sounded in 1981.

Song: It Should’ve Been Me – Closer on our 2013 album Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. Just because.

Song: Don’t Tell Rick – A song we produced after Cowboy Scat. It’s basically a plea to our audience of five not to tell Rick Perry about the album; particularly about the lyric in “It Should’ve Been Me” about playing with his dong. Still working on the video.

Song: Slipping and Sliding – Our cover of a Little Richard number. (Don’t tell Rick!) This is another deep archive pick, from our very first recording as Big Green – a demo tracked at Ned Danison’s brother’s garage studio back in 1986 or so. One of the songs we did in those days.

Peace out.


THIS IS BIG GREEN: February 2018

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Big Green vaults forward into the new year a month late with a new episode of Ned Trek, plus five Big Green songs, some verbal exchanges between brothers, and more sloppy impromptu performances. Avaunt!

This is Big Green – February 2018. Features: 1) Ned Trek 36: Grope in the Fold; 2) Put the phone down: Talk of dramatic courtroom drama; 3) Home of Wedding and big party Kielbasa; 4) Song: Two Lines, by Big Green; 5) Backstage fisticuffs with BJCB; 6) Tim Walsh’s guitar style; 7) Song: Silent as a Stone, by Big Green; 8) Song: It Should’ve Been Me, by Big Green; 9) Song: Don’t Tell Rick, by Big Green; 10) News from the farm; 11) Song: Slipping and Sliding, performed by Big Green; 12) Time to go.

Usual Rubbish

Inside November. (Again.)

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Man, is that the wind? Sounds like a freaking freight train. There goes the good weather. It was a nice couple of days, but hey …. all good things must end. (Hey Marvin … got any more platitudes I can borrow? Thanks, man.)

Well, it’s November in upstate New York. Things start slowing down a little bit around these parts. That’s partly why we had time to finish another episode of THIS IS BIG GREEN and post it this past week. Haven’t heard it yet? Well, this is what you have to look forward to:

Ned Trek 34 – Shitty and a Bit of a Stretch. Another Ned Trek non-musical episode, this one loosely based on the classic Star Trek script “City on the Edge of Forever,” originally written by famed sci-fi writer Harlan Ellison. Captain Willard, Mr. Ned, Mr. Perle, and the Nixon android all leap into Earth’s history in an attempt to stop a crazed Doc Coburn from changing the past and foreclosing on the future. Will they succeed? Well … robo Nixon does start a home for wayward clowns. That could make all the difference.

Put The Phone Down. Matt and I go into a wide-ranging discussion about Nixon’s happiest days, Seb Gorka’s descent back into internet racist rants, our somewhat spotty memories of the 1970s Eric Idle / Neil Innes parody of Beatle history called The Rutles, a look inside how Matt works on stuff, and a review of the television we used to watch with our parents back in the 1960s and 70s. Some impromptu singing and swanning about on various instruments.

Posted!Christmas Songs. We did a short block of Big Green Christmas songs by way of a little preview of the holidays to come. These include:

  • Christmas Green, a Willard song from one of our early Ned Trek episodes;
  • Jit Jaguar’s Christmas, a relatively recent recording of a quirky, older number we’ve played on the podcast before;
  • Horrible People, a Ned song from a few years ago, featuring the ubiquitous 40s guys on backup vocals;
  • Christmas Presence, a recent re-recording of one of Matt’s several takes on A Christmas Carol (this song appeared on his amazing 1994 Christmas cassette collection);
  • Make that Christmas Shine, another Willard song from that early Ned Trek Christmas special (the one with Santorum’s Christmas planet).

That’s about it for November. We have some more new stuff coming for the Holiday show, which will appear sometime around the holidays (hopefully).

Usual Rubbish

Inside November.

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Drat. Scuttled by a solar flare. That was a serious oversight on the part of that person we put in charge of planning our interstellar tour. Who was that again? Let’s see …. oh, right. It was me. Well … no ice cream for me tonight.

Okay, well … looks like we’re having the interstellar version of a rainy-day schedule today, but instead of coloring books and tunafish sandwiches, let’s break open the November episode of our THIS IS BIG GREEN podcast and see what’s crawling around inside.

Ned Trek 30: “The Deadly Queers”. This thirtieth episode of our Star Trek parody is based on the classic episode “The Deadly Years“, in which the Enterprise command crew is affected by radiation that quickly turns them all into raving geezers. In our version, radiation causes the Free Enterprise crew to become progressively more gay – a fate worse than death for our hyper-conservative, free market, confederate flag-waving heroes. There’s a lot of tasteless swanning about and gay sex references that none of us are proud of, but hey …. satire. Extra special appearances by Senators Lindsay Graham, Roy (aka “Roy-toy”) Blunt, and Bernie Sanders.

Songs: Embedded in Ned Trek 30 are seven new Big Green songs. These, as always, are rough mixes of recordings that will, in some version, appear on a future album or albums yet to be determined. Here’s what we’ve got:

Tinkerbell Neocon – Medium tempo guitar-driven rock duet sung by Perle and Doc Coburn. This one gets stuck in my head, quite frankly, so beware!

Seven songs?Fairy Dust – Another dirge by Sulu (the one original cast member that is somehow part of this “next degeneration” version of Star Trek). Very moody little number.

Oklahoma Mo – A slightly gay Doc Coburn nod to his cow town oil-patch upbringing.

Space Fandango – Romney song that should have been a tango (and may still be one day), all about Stephanie O (the captain’s Don Ho). Ummm … hilarious.

Let Me Go – The android Nixon does this over-the-top sixties rock ballad about needing to go to the can. I don’t think we’re breaking new ground here, but it’s certainly the first song I’ve ever done that places having to take a piss in the context of mid 20th century presidential history.

Potato Salad – Ned song with kind of a sixties vibe. No, it doesn’t make any sense, even in the context of this ridiculous and borderline offensive episode of Ned Trek, but here it is anyhow.

Spanking Machine – Pop song, sung by Willard, that harkens back to his boarding school days.

Put The Phone Down: Matt and I kvetch about the Trump election, rail at a useless media and an even more useless Democratic party, and look ahead in dread at what outrages lie before us. Laugh a minute.




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Big Green celebrates the arrival of Spring in the Northern Hemisphere with a spanking new episode of Ned Trek, 2 Big Green songs, and some bad imitations of famous people who richly deserve it. Heads up.

This is Big Green – April 2015. Features: 1) Ned Trek 23: Doo-Dah Dancing; 2) Song: Aw, Shoot, by Big Green; 3) Put the Phone Down: Daddy, please don’t; 4) At home with the Hatfields; 5) Oom pah pah; 6) Jolson, the toothless freak; 7) Song: Poor Dick, by Big Green; 8) Thoughts of Sagan; 9) Time to go.


THIS IS BIG GREEN: October 2014

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Big Green greets Autumn with another blockbuster episode of Ned Trek, a couple of Big Green songs, some wisdom from Henry Kissinger, and more. Avaunt, foul Summer!

This Is Big Green – October 2014. Features: 1) Ned Trek 20: The Shamesters of Quadzillion; 2) Song: The Bishop, by Big Green (from our album International House); 3) Put the Phone Down: Matt and Joe argue over technical diffulties (and are interrupted by technical difficulties); 4) A visit with Secretary Kissinger, author; 5) Matt’s encounter with Bagg; 6) Song: North Camp Pasture, by Big Green (from our album Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick; 7) Kissinger joins us for a song; 8.) Exit, stage wrong.


THIS IS BIG GREEN: August 2014

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Big Green comes roaring back to life in the dog days of Summer with a gripping new episode of Ned Trek, six new Big Green songs, and more. Oh, yeah.

This Is Big Green – August 2014. Features: 1) Ned Trek 19: Careact, featuring six new Big Green songs, listed as follows; 2) Song: Die-de-die (Spiro’s song), by Big Green; 3) Song: Sick Poor Jerk in a Herd, by Big Green; 4) Song: Well, Well, Well, by Big Green; 5) Song: Romneycare, by Big Green; 6) Song: Some Health Care, by Big Green; 7) Song: Medicare, by Big Green; 8) Put the Phone Down: Matt and Joe read from Recording Magazine, May 1990; 9) Suing Sonny Tufts; 10) Matt’s boid report; 11) News of tunnels and more; 12) Joe’s diploma; 13) General collapse of show


THIS IS BIG GREEN: November 2013

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Big Green declares open season on reason with the November episode of their podcast, featuring Ned Trek 14, The Wrath of Carl, and several Big Green songs. Boy howdy.

This is Big Green – November 2013. Features: 1) Ned Trek XIV: The Wrath of Carl; 2) Song: Volcano Man, by Big Green; 3) Put the Phone Down: Matt and Joe talk about the start of hunting season and its random killing; 4) Electon 2013: The Gleason effect; 5) Big Green’s live days: Matt on horse, Joe on cow; 6) Song: Little Pig Flies, by Big Green; 7) A visit with Anita Bryant; 8) Random Extra Song: Good Old Boys Roundup; 9) End time



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This is Big Green – July Jubilee 2013. A special two-hour Big Green podcast, featuring 1) Ned Trek XI: The Space Libbies – Beaming Down to Ayn; 2) Put the Phone Down: Matt and Joe consider problems with the sun, damage at Spring Farm, and other issues; 3) Remembrance of things past (not Proust); 4) Song: Nothing But Time, by Big Green; 5) Big Green considers evident racism, among other things; 6) Live impromptu performance: All I Want, by Big Green; 7) Ideas for promoting Big Green’s new album, Cowboy Scat, in outer space; 8. Song: In Your Dreams, demo version, by Big Green; 9) Exit.