Ned Trek 20: The Shamesters of Quadzillion

Tell me again how vaccines cause retardation!

Plot Summary

Captain Romney, Mr. Ned, and Mr. Perle find themselves transported to a mysterious planet in a distant quarternary star system where reclusive billionaires place bets on competitors from all over the galaxy as they are compelled to tear each other to shreds with the deadliest weapon money can buy: political attack ads.  Our three “heroes” (or “hoagies”) enter the arena to meet Romney’s primary opponents in the 2012 election cycle. Who will prevail?

Lame Script Based On Classic Star Trek Episode:

The Gamesters of Triskelion

Cast

Free Enterprise Crew:

Willard Mittilius Romney, Captain
Mr. Ned, the talking dressage horse
Doc Tom Coburn, chief medical officer
Lt. Commander Richard Perle, chief neocon
Mr. Sulu, helmsman
Mr. Welsh, chief engineer
The Nixon Android, automaton version of the ex-president
Stephanie J., umpteenth clone of redshirt Mr. Stephanie
Mr. German, throwaway joke of a crewman

On Planet Quadzillion:

Trolls:
Newt Gingrich, Perle’s Shill Troll
Herman Cain
Michele Bachmann, Romney’s Shill Troll
Chief Justice John Roberts, as Gaunt, Master Troll

The Benefactors:
Charles Koch
Foster Friess
Sheldon Adelson