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This is Big Green: Hangover Edition 2013

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This Is Big Green: January 2013

Big Green shares the agony of the morning after with another installment of Ned Trek, space travel’s only talking horse, plus three Big Green songs and some assorted groaning. Cheers.

This is Big Green – Hangover Edition 2013. Features: 1) Song: Volcano Man, by Big Green; 2) Ned Trek VI: The further adventures of Romney’s talking horse; 3) Song: Johnny’s Gun (demo version), by Big Green; 4) Put the phone down: Our sucky science fiction future, and other topics; 5) Song: Oh, Larry, by Big Green; 6) Turn it down, the radio; 7) Talk of language; 8) Ignominious implosion.

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This Is Big Green: Holidaze 2012

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This Is Big Green: Holidaze (December) 2012

Big Green marks the pagan holiday known as Christmas with a full-blown installment of Ned the talking horse, three new Big Green songs, and more. Dig it.

This is Big Green – Holidaze 2012. Features: 1) Ned Trek V, starring Mr. Ned, Romney’s Dancing Horse; 2) Skit: Charlie in the Box and the first semi-automatic Christmas; 3) Put the phone down: Holidays and the recently departed remembered; 4) Song: Merry Christmas, Children, by Big Green; 5) Song: Father Christmas, by Big Green; 6) Song: Martha’s Christmas, by Big Green; 7) Song: Christmas Spirit, by Big Green; 8 ) Matt’s encounter with an invasive species; 9) Song: Head Cheese Log, by Big Green; 10) We collapse in festive exhaustion

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This Is Big Green: Thanksgaffing 2012

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This Is Big Green:
Thanksgaffing (November) 2012

Big Green celebrates the harvest feasting season with a rich menu that includes two previously unreleased Big Green rough tracks, an extended Mr. Ned in Space episode, and more. Over the river … and out.

Features: 1) Song: My Bed, by Big Green; 2) Mr. Ned, Romney’s Dancing Horse, Episode 4; 3) Put the phone down: Election post-mortem with Matt; 4) Excoriating, John McCain; 5) Song: Box of Crackers, by Big Green; 6) Matt lectures at Gander Mountain, looks ahead to hunting season; 7) Remembering George McGovern; 8.) Song: It should’ve been me, by Rick Perry and the Dapper Dudes; 9) Time for us to go

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This is Big Green – Octobercast 2012

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This is Big Green – Octobercast 2012. Features: 1) Mr. Ned, Romney’s Dancing Horse, Episode 3; 2) Put the phone down: Matt gives his account of playing spaceman with Dr. Waleed Abdalati; 3) Remembering Andy Williams, Barry Commoner, and Sen. Arlen Spector; 4) More madness assorted; 5) Song: Paradise, by Big Green; 6) Song: Kublai Khan, by Big Green; 7) Graceless exit

 

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THIS IS BIG GREEN: SEPTEMBER 2012 NARROWCAST

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This is Big Green – September 2012 Narrowcast. Features: 1) Song: One Small Step (in remembrance of Neil Armstrong); 2) Romney’s Dancing Horse, Episode 2; 3) Put the phone down: Matt’s trunk rooster incident; 4) Song: Flying Up Ricky, by Cousin Rick; 5) Random observations on random things; 7) Song: North Camp Pasture, by Cousin Rick; 8) Shotgun exit.

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After party.

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Just some random thoughts on the major party conventions, now that they’re over. Don’t have a lot of time to write this, so it’s going to be… well, random.

Tale of Two Crackers. Bill Clinton’s big speech on Wednesday night capped what seems to me like a political rehabilitation of monumental proportions. At some point, everybody started loving Bill Clinton, and he has become a major statesman … or as close to that as you can come in this age. It wasn’t terribly surprising to see this process happen with Ronald Reagan, who – despite having a spotty popularity rating during his presidency – the media always portrayed as wildly popular, and around whom an image-enhancement industry of sorts has been at work since his departure. But Clinton? Does anyone remember how denigrated he was throughout his presidency? I suppose people have gradually come to the realization that things weren’t so bad in the 1990s … since everything since then has pretty generally sucked.

That brings me to the second cracker – W. Bush. During Clinton’s long speech, while people were hanging on every word, it was hard not to think of W’s total absence from his own party’s convention, both in person and in rhetoric. If this election is truly about a competition between two distinct approaches to government, this contrast speaks volumes about the degree to which each vision (1) has a record of success and (2) is something its proponents can advance with confidence.

Turnaround. Is America ready for a turnaround, Romney-style? I think we’ve already gotten a piece of that. Matt Taibbi’s recent reporting on Mitt Romney’s history at Bain Capital illustrates a bit of what we can expect from a Romney administration. The short story is this: Like the corporate raiders of the 1980s, Bain would do leveraged buy-outs of companies – basically buy them on credit with relatively little money down. The resulting debt would then be held by the company. Then they would compel the company to monetize its assets for dividend payments to its new shareholders – the people at Bain and its partners. What is left is the husk of a company that had already been under stress before Bain’s arrival and is now buried under a crushing debt burden, its assets sold off to enrich others.

That’s the Romney plan for America, in a nutshell. The G.O.P., if elected, will do what it always does – borrow massively (i.e. leverage), cut taxes for the rich (i.e. dividend payment to investors), privatize (i.e. monetize assets), and deregulate. You don’t need an MBA to figure out where that’s headed.

luv u,

jp

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THIS IS BIG GREEN: FIRST ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL

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This is Big Green – First Anniversary Special. Features: 1) Mr. Ned, the Dancing Horse; 2) Put the phone down: Who’s dead this month; 3) Talk of Hansen and strip mining; 4) Song: She Caught The Katy, recorded by Big Green in 1986; 5) Song: Fed Up, by Cousin Rick; 6) Pondering the plot of Kung Fu; 7) Comments on fracking by Jack Ossont, Coalition to Protect New York State; Song: Lone Star, by Cousin Rick; 9) Opening a surprise package from Dave Thompson; 10) Closing ceremonies.

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Thinking small.

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President Obama is on vacation this week, sort of. Him and about a thousand other people, bringing him information, taking his orders, blah, blah. I don’t know why he bothers, but… he does. With that job, you may as well assume that you’re going to be working straight for four to eight years. Even so, every American president since Carter has been determined not to seem like he’s barricaded in to the White House, manning his vigil in vain. So Obama, like his predecessors, takes a ceremonial vacation, and his detractors take aim. Of course, they would anyway. He has locked himself into Washington! He’s out of touch with (white) America! they would cry if he were to cancel his outing. May as well go, Barry.

Frankly, if he were to come back from the Vineyard with a Jobs / Recovery Act proposal that involves bold efforts to fund infrastructure projects, incentivize hiring, raise taxes on the rich, and so on, I would be the first to say that the man has earned his rest. But that is an extremely unlikely scenario. Obama, smart as he is, does not want to have to walk back every statement he has made about the debt since last year. That’s my best take on that. My worst is that he really believes that cutting spending, basic social safety net programs, and government investment in the short term will, as his Republican opponents believe, create jobs. If he doesn’t know they’re smoking crack on that one, we could be in for Japan in the 1990s.

Speaking of smoking crack, Texas Governor Rick Perry has launched himself headlong into the race to defeat Obama, entering amid a flurry of wild claims and random threats against the Chairman of the Federal Reserve. Here’s a guy who has publicly referred to Social Security and Medicare as “ponzi schemes.” Seriously? This should not be hard to beat. Honestly, if Obama had just done what he needed to do, none of these freaks would stand a chance of winning. That it’s a race at all speaks to the weakness of his policies, not the strength of theirs…. because clearly, they’ve got nothing except tax cuts, tax cuts, and more tax cuts. And that’s nothing.

Will the president suggest a solution that is on the same grand scale as the problem, or is it small-bore policy all the way from here on out? We shall see.

luv u,

jp

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Tea totalers.

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Fast again, my apologies.

Our friends in the mass media are breathless over the primary elections this past week, particularly with regard to the triumph of certain “tea party” affiliated candidates. This is the big story, we’re told – the tea party conservatives are where all of the enthusiasm is this year. It’s a growing movement, says old Pat Buchanan, as if we’re witnessing anything new. Have any of these people actually lived in the United States over the past twenty years? I wonder.

What is the tea party movement, after all, but the hard core of the Republican party conservative base? Chris (Lambchop) Hayes made this point on Rachel Maddow’s show the other night. Think about it for a minute – even at his nadir of popularity, George W. Bush could count on the unquestioning love of 25-30% of the country. This country is home to more than 300 million people, so that 25% adds up to 75 million people. Based on their rallies and their primary returns, the tea party appears to be a subset of that block – more like Glenn Beck’s 10% vanguard. These are people who loved Bush/Cheney, supported both wars they started, ate up the tax cuts, blamed Katrina on the victims, and called Obama a terrorist during the McCain campaign. “He’s a… an Arab,” said the crazy lady at one of McCain’s rallies, searching for the right epithet.  From the moment of Obama’s election victory, these people have been screaming to “get their country back.” My question is, “back” from whom? The people who voted in the last national election? Screw that.

The simple fact is, these people have only effectively been out of power for less than two years. Sure, the Democrats took control of the Senate and House in January 2007, but they had razor thin majorities and a Republican president to work with. Bush was able to triangulate with the always-useful conservative Dems in both houses to block any progressive legislation and keep the cash flowing for both wars. So they are complaining about what amounts to the last 20 months. Indeed, their complaints would have no traction at all were it not for the horrible unemployment rate and the continuing sluggish economy – due in large part to the consistent blocking action of congressional Republicans and (again) conservative Dems, who cut the vast majority of infrastructure spending from the stimulus package and now whine that it didn’t do enough. I guess Bill Clinton did have a point with “It’s the economy, stupid.” In the absence of a draft or a war tax, nothing resonates with the American voter more than jobs, jobs, jobs. 

To paraphrase the old WWII sign about carpooling – If you stay home on election day, you ride with Boehner. Whatever else poor, working, and left-leaning people need to do to make life better in this country, they need to get out and vote. Need a ride to the polls? Call me.  

luv u,

jp

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Direction, please.

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I think that planter goes over here. No, no… not there. Just behind the divider, where no one can see it. That’s right – perfect. Now… where to place the emerald city?

Yes, friends… this is Hammermill Days, the blog chronicling Big Green’s bizarre existence. You haven’t stumbled onto some daycare center message board. I’m just doing a little compassionate backfill for one of our number who does not respond well to his responsibilities. I’m speaking of our mad science advisor, Mitch Macaphee, who cannot take it upon himself to devote a few stray hours to the upbringing of his invention, Marvin (my personal robot assistant). Oh, the trials of surrogate fatherhood! Now I’m left with filling in for an absentee mad scientist. This is awful – I’ve forgotten all the rituals, the nostrums, the pat-on-the-head kind of shit. And, well… Marvin is so damn needy.  Something in his programming, I think. He craves approval almost as much as he needs 3-in-1 oil. In spite of this, I made the mistake of recommending an amateur theatrical debut for our mechanical friend. (I’m not good.) 

Okay, so… Marvin is going to be in the local school production of the Wizard of Oz (in three acts); he’s appearing as the tin man, of course (no costume needed), and he’s freaking scared to death. Why? I don’t know. Stage fright. Some kind of computer virus. What am I, psychic? I told you, I’m no good at this parent or guardian thing. I can’t even keep track of my pet rock, let alone a full-grown robot. Sweet mother of pearl, why can’t Mitch take some responsibility? He’s just obsessed with his work, that’s why. And that’s enough to scare the paint off the walls, quite frankly. I’ve told you about the anti gravity experiments. That’s small potatoes, friend, very small. Listen… you didn’t hear it from me, but old Mitch has been working his bony fingers to the marrow cooking up this global warming phenomenon everyone is talking about. I suppose you thought it was the result of tailpipe emissions and coal-fired power plants, eh? Well…. think again.

Mitch started getting interested in climate change a few years back. Think of this as a kind of mea culpa, actually. You see, we threw together a little number we call “The Dino Song”, which goes a bit like this:

Dinos had a good time on the trolley!
Dinos had a good day at the fair!
Dinos had a holiday ’til the sky turned mean and gray
Their underbellies went a-gushing jelly and they died in searing pain!

That jolly little number became a particular favorite of Mitch’s, not because of its musical or poetic merits (or lack of same) but because of the subject matter. Hmmmmm, he thought (yes, he sometime generates visible thought bubbles), If the sky turned mean and gray then, why not now? Which was followed by an utterance along the lines of BWAA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! … which I believe is the Pashto term for “this is good.” Anyway, that’s when he got to work.

Hey… sometimes a man can’t be a good parent because he expends all his goodness elsewhere. In Mitch’s case, it’s a little different. So that last observation, well… just forget it.